Sunday, September 26, 2010

You've lost the weight, why aren't you happy?


I look at the person I photographed in Cabo San Lucas. Is the lady happy standing out there on the beach? Maybe...or maybe not. Some might question "How could she not be happy standing on the beach and looking at that beautiful sunrise?" Well the truth is that some people would be standing out there complaining about the sand in their shoes.

Some might also question "How could you not be happy after losing 100, 200, 300 or more pounds?" For people that haven't lived that situation they couldn't possibly understand why some of us aren't.

I have stared into the anxious faces of pre-surgery women that long for the simple things like being able to tie their shoes, play with their children, fit in an airplane seat without an extender and many of the things others take for granted.
We buy into that dream. You know the one....where our life becomes this perfect pink cloud life of thinness....sheer normalcy. No more struggles or pain, everything is rainbows and fairy dust because we lost the weight.

Lately there have been an overwhelming number of posts from unhappy post-ops. If you are one to relate to this situation, have you asked yourself why? So many set themselves up for failure because they are SURE that losing the weight will make them instantly happy. I've talked to many pre-ops as they nod their heads and say "I understand, all I want is to do normal things." How can we blame them for wanting more? The first year is made of all these incredible highs from losing weight like we've never lost before! Friends and relatives are telling us how GREAT we look. We get so excited that we can't help but want more! The honeymoon period ends and unless we are prepared, we may wonder what on earth will I do now to replace those "bouncing off the wall highs" we have lived for a year.

We needed to address why we needed to self medicate before we got to this phase but we certainly have to NOW. Why do you think that only having a thin body would make you happy? Think about a friend who has been thin all their lives. I'm pretty sure they don't get out of bed in the morning thinking "OH WOW, I'M SO HAPPY BECAUSE I'M THIN!" They are just like everyone else trying to live their life the best they can with the best attitude they can.

HAVE YOU REALLY FORGOTTEN WHERE YOU CAME FROM?

Perhaps one of the most useful rituals I do each morning is a walking meditation with my dog. "I am truly grateful for my thin healthy body" (that's the first one followed by many more) While I'm saying that I see myself the night before surgery. I remember exactly where I was and I remember to be grateful for where I am today. Is post-op life hard? It is if you believe it is. Wasn't it hard to live in your pre-surgery body? Some of us just can't help ourselves from looking over that fence thinking the grass is greener. I have been discussing this lately but if you really REALLY think about it why do you believe that what you want is always in a place you cannot have? What is the point in that? I will say this again....you have to decide the grass is green enough for right now and when you do, you totally forget to want to climb that fence because even if you do, there's just another fence waiting on the other side. Do you want to enjoy where you are or spend your life climbing fences?
I have found that when I start to see the green grass all around me that the fences fall down because they don't matter any more. After spending 30 years of wanting to be "not obese", I am done with concentrating on what I don't have and ready to enjoy what I have! The magic that happens is that you open yourself to the new stuff that can come into your life because your energy is tied up on useless endeavors.
Open your life to new experience. Quit spending your time concentrating on what you don't have and remember how far you've come. I promise it will make a difference!
Try it you'll like it Mikey!
Love and Light,
Yvonne

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Inspirational posts from post-ops

I have a group on Obesity Help called WLS Success. If you are a member of Obesity Help (it's free) please feel free to click on the link and join in on the fun!

This week we've had two particularly inspirational posts. The first one is from Molly who had gastric bypass in 2004. Molly decided to fight that nasty regain monster who tagged her with 80 pounds, Molly is truly an inspiration to those that don't think you can win against that mean ole regain monster so I asked her if I could share her progress.


Here is her post:

In March 2010 when I set out to get back on track, I knew it would be hard. I knew I had to take some drastic measures to get my mind in the place I needed to be to lose 170 more pounds - 80 of which I had regained. In my 20's, 30's and with weight loss surgery the pounds came off a lot more easier than they did this time around. But I was determined to use all of my knowledge to just stick out the bumps in the road I have had over the last 6 months.

In June I had a relapse. I gained over 12 pounds and then spent the whole month of July and part of August getting that weight off. August I did everything right 90 percent of the time and only lost 3 pounds. But at least I had not gained, but still disconcerting because I knew with what I was eating and the exercising I was doing almost daily that I should have been losing at least 2 pounds a week.

Now it is September 13th and I have lost 8 pounds already for a total of 30 pounds, My BMI is back in the 40's. My body finally realized I was not going to let it win. I was going to stick it out. When I started out my goal was 8 pounds a month. That would mean now I should have lost 42 to 48 pounds. So I am a little behind. Wouldn't it be something if I caught up some how in the next 4 to 6 weeks. I am not sweating it. But I still think about it. I am not complaining or upset I have lost only 30 pounds. I am just reflecting.

I am very happy with the 30! I am happy because I have stop the bleeding (gaining). I am so on my mission now to reach all my goals. Maybe I will not reach them on the timetable I set but as long as I do not give up I am on my way. I still have a long ways to go and plenty of soul searching to do but I am on my way. I am making a come back. You can get back on track! I am back on track and I feel good about it. I am going all the way.

My many friends and support programs has helped me remain positive and mindful of my ultimate goals. Encouraging others has help me stay on track also. Thanks again for your support!


The second post is from KristineA, a new post-op. This is truly uplifting and I couldn't be more excited for her.

Hi everyone, just checking in. I went on a business trip last week, first time I have flown since starting this journey. I have always carried most of my weight around my belly, as I heard somebody else describe it, my body type is "imaginary fetus." So belting a seatbelt in any car could be an issue but was always an adventure on a plane! Trying to buckle it under your belly, and hoping the attendant wouldn't think you were faking it and ask you to lift your fat. I remember one flight where I was determined not to ask for the extender belt, and I braced my feet and pushed as far back into the chair as I could to get the seatbelt done up. And was depressed and very uncomfortable the rest of the flight. I was afraid to get up and use the bathroom and have someone see me getting the belt done up again!

Well. This time, I had a good 4 inches of extra unused on the belt. 4 inches! And for the first time in my adult life, I could put the tray table down and not have it hit my belly. How many meals have I eaten with the tray ready to slide off because my body pushed the tray up at an angle? I could not believe it. I left that stupid tray down, and put my book on it, just because I could. Halfway through the flight I realized, not only did I have the tray table down, I had crossed my legs without thinking about it. Crossed my legs! In a plane!!! I used to look over at other people doing that and be so jealous. I know it's a little thing in some ways, but I almost cried. I got my coworker's attention and hissed at him, "Look! Look at me! I'm crossing my legs!" I also showed him how I could move my hand between the table and my body. He was smiling for me, it was AWESOME.

I am very grateful for those members in that group who are so much like a family...too many to mention. I want to thank JEllen for being the glue that holds us together and Traci for offering to rally the troups. Again, too many to name.

I hope that Molly gave some of you a glimpse into kicking the "regain monster" in the butt. The second post makes me smile and feel all warm inside.

I hope they made you feel that way too...

Love and Light, Y