This may be the busiest time of my life in recent years. Be careful what you ask for....right?
The truth is that it is all relative and it is only when you put it in perspective that you realize you are not really busy at all. Busy is when you are making time to get chemo....or fighting to return to some type of normal life, living in Galveston when your home has been blown away.
In the midst of this flurry of activity I had made myself a reminder to go to the Plano Balloon Festival. It had been 4 years since I had been and was anxious to take my camera. Kevin didn't want any part of those crowds and I didn't blame him so I went all by myself. As I was sitting in this incredibly dense crowd on a hillside, there was a "lit" couple next to me but they were having a great time. Slightly in front of me was another couple in their mid 30's I suspect and she was obviously mad because he looked my way. My typical reaction was as usual a feeling of guilt and I felt sorry for them.
Many years ago, I was that woman so I know what she was feeling. When you are no longer confident about yourself or your significant other, any women in the immediate area is no good.
I realized that I was playing those old tapes...finding a way to feel badly for my existence. Then, just like in the movies, it happened. Suddenly I was all alone and even with thousands of people around, I was the only one there.
Finally I got it...I am not responsible for anyone's feelings except my own. I have no control over anyone except myself. FREEDOM!
The skydiver guys started coming in right over my head. It was awesome.
I got a chance to do some things that I haven't had a chance to do in a while and that was to people watch.
Below is the photograph of a woman in the crowd.
She was absolutely beautiful and I wanted to make something from this photograph and I realized that it is truly one of the things I love to do.
I know I need to follow my bliss but sometimes it's really hard to figure out exactly what my bliss is.
Finally it is slowly sinking in.
I love my art.
I love taking photographs and creating something that is totally not there.
I think I would love to do this for women that have just lost a bunch of weight and are just starting to feel good about themselves for the first time....
I did take several balloon pictures and if you'd like to see those, you can see them in my gallery on my photography site here:
Plano Balloon Festival
Follow your bliss...and the rest will come!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
As I sit here and watch "The Biggest Loser", I feel so many different emotions. Not even knowing where to start, I suppose I'll begin with how they showed each person the age of their body inside....versus their actual age. Each contestant looked appropriately shocked. As I look back on the many years I was morbidly obese, I was appropriately shocked every day but there was absolutely NOTHING you could have told me that would have made me want to lose weight any more than I already did. Scaring me thin just wasn't possible. I wanted to be thin so badly that I would have sold my soul....and that's pretty scary.
I tried it....
When the weight is lost on the show, what will be done to keep the weight off? If only I had a actual number of total pounds lost in my life. Of course whatever it was, I still ended up at 260 the night before surgery.
OK, I know. Somehow I manage to remember that it is TV. This is where everything departs from reality...even reality TV.
On to the real stuff.
Yesterday Debra wanted pictures made of her grandchildren. If you don't know who Debra is, go to http://www.rydobesity.com/. Of course I'd do anything for Debra but I'm glad she asked because I received so much joy out of giving her something that would bring joy to her. This is her granddaugher.
Debra said that if I had seen pictures of her when she was a baby...they would have been twins.
Debra also cracks me up because she calls her grandchildren by nicknames. This beautiful little girl is called "Chubs". Adorable!!
It gets funnier though because she has a grandson too. He's just as much of a cutie as Chubs is.
I never had kids so I can only imagine a little what it's like for Debra to have grandchildren. Even better though...
Debra will be able to watch those kids grow up and take them to all the places she couldn't go when she was obese.
Way to go Debra! You are definitely one of the cutest grandmas out there girlfriend.
Thanks for "inviting" me to take their pictures because it reminded me of some of the beautiful things there are in this life....and it reminded me of the magic of photography.
Will they ever see this?
but only if they do a search for Chubs and Stromboli.
p.s. I finally got some of the site up. You can see that at http://www.bariatricgirl.com/