I look at the person I photographed in Cabo San Lucas. Is the lady happy standing out there on the beach? Maybe...or maybe not. Some might question "How could she not be happy standing on the beach and looking at that beautiful sunrise?" Well the truth is that some people would be standing out there complaining about the sand in their shoes.
Some might also question "How could you not be happy after losing 100, 200, 300 or more pounds?" For people that haven't lived that situation they couldn't possibly understand why some of us aren't.
I have stared into the anxious faces of pre-surgery women that long for the simple things like being able to tie their shoes, play with their children, fit in an airplane seat without an extender and many of the things others take for granted.
We buy into that dream. You know the one....where our life becomes this perfect pink cloud life of thinness....sheer normalcy. No more struggles or pain, everything is rainbows and fairy dust because we lost the weight.
Lately there have been an overwhelming number of posts from unhappy post-ops. If you are one to relate to this situation, have you asked yourself why? So many set themselves up for failure because they are SURE that losing the weight will make them instantly happy. I've talked to many pre-ops as they nod their heads and say "I understand, all I want is to do normal things." How can we blame them for wanting more? The first year is made of all these incredible highs from losing weight like we've never lost before! Friends and relatives are telling us how GREAT we look. We get so excited that we can't help but want more! The honeymoon period ends and unless we are prepared, we may wonder what on earth will I do now to replace those "bouncing off the wall highs" we have lived for a year.
We needed to address why we needed to self medicate before we got to this phase but we certainly have to NOW. Why do you think that only having a thin body would make you happy? Think about a friend who has been thin all their lives. I'm pretty sure they don't get out of bed in the morning thinking "OH WOW, I'M SO HAPPY BECAUSE I'M THIN!" They are just like everyone else trying to live their life the best they can with the best attitude they can.
HAVE YOU REALLY FORGOTTEN WHERE YOU CAME FROM?
Perhaps one of the most useful rituals I do each morning is a walking meditation with my dog. "I am truly grateful for my thin healthy body" (that's the first one followed by many more) While I'm saying that I see myself the night before surgery. I remember exactly where I was and I remember to be grateful for where I am today. Is post-op life hard? It is if you believe it is. Wasn't it hard to live in your pre-surgery body? Some of us just can't help ourselves from looking over that fence thinking the grass is greener. I have been discussing this lately but if you really REALLY think about it why do you believe that what you want is always in a place you cannot have? What is the point in that? I will say this again....you have to decide the grass is green enough for right now and when you do, you totally forget to want to climb that fence because even if you do, there's just another fence waiting on the other side. Do you want to enjoy where you are or spend your life climbing fences?
I have found that when I start to see the green grass all around me that the fences fall down because they don't matter any more. After spending 30 years of wanting to be "not obese", I am done with concentrating on what I don't have and ready to enjoy what I have! The magic that happens is that you open yourself to the new stuff that can come into your life because your energy is tied up on useless endeavors.
Open your life to new experience. Quit spending your time concentrating on what you don't have and remember how far you've come. I promise it will make a difference!
Try it you'll like it Mikey!
Love and Light,