Sunday, July 20, 2008

Moderation in all things....BALANCE!

I was concerned when I started this blog. I wanted more quality than quantity and I didn't need added stress in my life to be a stellar blogger every single day. With only 7 years under my belt in this new life, I am still learning life lessons as a thin person and believe me....they are totally different than obese life lessons.

Today as I was walking my beautiful boy Sundance (my three legged dog), I was pondering the seemingly prevalent issue of control in the weight loss surgery community. Just like a bulimic that cannot control anything but the food, I see control issues and addictions. As I raise my right hand and put my left hand on the Bible....yes...that includes me. As I fought obesity and did everything known to man to lose the weight, I controlled everything else in my life because I could. Learning to let go is a HUGE mountain to climb but of course the only way you can do that is to put one foot in front of the other and just climb the damn thing. When I figured out that I really cannot do anything about the past...when I REALLY figured it out....it freed me further from the prison of obesity. Saying it and doing it are two totally different things and since there is no such thing as perfection, I can only hope that I am making progress.

I have had the honor of speaking at several large gatherings of weight loss surgery groups and when I said that I had to be careful at learning to do new things, I was being totally honest. Learning something new or getting a "high" from a new activity can set something in motion that can get out of control. As I have said many times, I believe we are all addicted and that doesn't make us a bad boy or girl. It is what it is so you carry on and try your best to put one foot in front of the other and do it all in moderation. Too much of anything is not good for anyone. Of course keeping that in check is the magic pill isn't it? As I watch many precious souls in our community, I see so many go from food to something else. In the past I thought as long as it wasn't drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, or shopping...well..that was all good. I realize now that no matter what the "high" becomes that it can be detrimental to us. Geez...you'd think that getting the weight off and not getting involved in DAGSS (drugs,alcohol, gambling,sex, shopping) that it would be OK. Hey, I created an acronym!

Anyway, as I am fond of saying sometimes.... I have seen some stuff man. Naming these addictions doesn't matter but whatever it is that we do too much of, I believe we are chasing a high. The question is whether that it will hurt us or not. I'm not a doctor and don't play one of TV but I have to believe that we must be cognizant of this. Not being able to leave our house for long or not being able to go on vacation because of our "activity" may be an indication it has gotten out of hand. As I turn the attention to myself, I wonder what would qualify as my problem area? Perhaps it is my zest for finding the answers to why we do this to ourselves. In a matter of a few weeks I got many answers for this question in the form of 4 or 5 books that just landed in my lap at once.

One of the simplest lessons was when we look to external things for happiness, we are doomed. We absolutely set ourselves up to be a victim. Really? Guilty as charged your honor! Let's see....how does this list start?

When I lose the weight, my life will be PERFECT!
oops...no?

It's not perfect? OK, then what's next? I know! I'll talk in front of lots of people and tell them about it. Then life will be perfect because I'm spreading the word.

oops...no.
The problem is that when you are talking to these precious souls that know that obesity makes their life unbearable for so many reasons, they see nothing else but perfection when the weight comes off. How do you tell them they are setting themselves us to be victims of yet another disappointment?
I know this now....happiness comes from within.
Easy enough to say...hard to figure out sometimes. Given the promise by several sources, I put this into action and to say that this disbelieving Bariatric Girl was shown the light is an understatement.

I hope soon I will do a blog entry called "straight to happiness". I MUST look within to happiness and go straight there. I cannot use external stuff to do it. I MUST have balance and moderation in my life so as I stand here like the scales of justice....I have a little bird on each side and one tells me "I'm getting too far down....raise me back up!"

It is amazing how well it's working for me. I am one grateful woman for all the new information pouring in.

On a totally different note.... this would fall under things that would have never happened in a million years when I was obese. Last month I entered a contest with a couple hundred other people at a mall in Dallas. It involved small dogs and their owners. My sweet boy Sundance has three legs because he was left to run the streets for a year with a broken leg by his former owner. The leg atrophied and had to be amputated. His foster mom Vicki took him in and picked my husband and I to give him his fur-ever home. Sundance (formerly known as Kevin's dog) was wearing a Harley Davidson cap and I was wearing a leather vest. My very first Harley Davidson leather vest....

Can you guess the rest?

First place BABY!!

I looked within for that happiness....and learning from the love of my sweet dog that it is more important than the trophy, the win, the prizes, or even the Harley Davidson leather vest!
Ask Sundance if his life is good without that leg. He doesn't have a clue he's physically challenged. I considered cutting the legs off his four legged toys so he'd adjust quicker...
KIDDING!
Happiness within....

Everything else that happens is icing on the cake.

Blessings to you in your journey,
Yvonne

and Sundance


2 comments:

christina shumaker said...

I am so glad to finally see a site that is positive. I was so excited to see something that focuses on the postive. I was glad to see something that will encourage and want to make you continue on with this battle. I hope that you will continue on. Thank you again.

Jenn D said...

My addiction is being perfect. I always protray that I have the perfect husband, perfect house, perfect life. If this were really true how could I ever not be happy. It is totally time consuming to try to keep that facade up and impossible as well. What I tend to fail to realize is that I do have the perfect life because of not inspite of all the imperfect flaws. I have a normal life that most people can not claim and I have to remind myself that that is what makes it perfect. Not all the hype I put into it. I need to learn to relax and not let the stains on the carpet or the dishes in the sink cause me such great distress. Life isn't about everything in its place it is about the place where everything is at. Thank you for reminding me not to always be striving for that ellusive perfect life and enjoy the perfect one I already have.